10 years!!

“Love is what makes two people sit in the middle of a bench when there is plenty of room at both ends”

This quote reminds me of the words my husband always says" why do you come and sit almost on me when there is plenty of room on the other side of the couch". I never knew how i did it but, i always went and sat on his lap even though there was plenty of room.  This year is our 10th Anniversary, unknowingly we hit 10 years. How we reach here? i don't know. Now that i think of ..it feels so strange, that i have been living with this man whom i didn't even know 10 years back. But i should give it to him, he gave me time to know him and feel comfortable in my home.He never restricted me from doing anything. I was as comfortable as i was with my parents with him. He accepted me as I'm and always appreciated me, and told me many times that I'm beautiful. In this 10 years he has unfolded me in ways, i could have never done without him. He gave me an opportunity to explore my life. He made me free and independent. Had he not been there in my life, i would not have been what I'm today. I was very outgoing even before marriage, and i believed in every one who came across. I never used to explore new things, i was scared of water , i was scared of  heights, i was happy with going in the same route every day. But all these things changed, i learned to swim because of him , i went on roller coasters for him though i dint like it. I never used to like driving , but now i do. He proved to me that I'm stronger than what i believe in myself. He is a positive energy in all the negative things that i see. In this 10 years he gave me all that i could ask for , two beautiful kids , a beautiful home . I'm so thankful that he is part of my life and i wish he should have all that he wants in life.
I love you more than anything in this world my dear Husband.
With Love...

A walk with a stranger..

I have gone through some friendships which have changed drastically; having so much in common to ... do I really know this person. It’s from sharing everything to...  are we on the same page anymore.

I started walking a road with a stranger years back
Talking, joking, teasing, fighting, crying , patching

As the days went by; I though I was getting to know him better

We were glad that our paths crossed and the road felt beautiful


He laughed when i joked, he spoke when he wanted to, he shared when he felt like
But to me, he was there every moment, living breathing

It mattered to me to speak to him every day
He was a good listener  with smiles in between


It was no seconds or minutes or hours that i knew him now, it was years all of a sudden 
Unknowingly we reached the end of the road into a crossroads
He didn't bother, but left me behind making me feel worthless
And Judging every word that i said


We tried very hard to get to normal after each storm

both of us were bruised
I have decided to forget  and go along
But it hurts him each time he looks at each one of it

I thought we walked along this road together 
But turned out,that i was the one pursuing him to walk with me all along
He bottled up all the hurt and the grudge
And branded me with his logo as useless nerd

Here I'm  standing in the crossroads thinking, do i take his path again?

Forcing him and pursuing him to walk along ? As in the end..

Did i really get to know this stranger? Does he really know me?
As the stranger walks away leaving me behind, i feel he remained still as a stranger after years.

zindagi na milegi dobara!!!

Dilon mein tum apni betaabiyan leke chal rahe ho, toh zinda ho tum
Nazar mein khwaabon ki bijliyan leke chal rahe ho, toh zinda ho tum
Hawa ke jhokon ke jaise aazad rehno seekho
Tum ek dariya ke jaise lehron mein behna seekho
Har ek lamhe se tum milo khole apni baahein
Har ek pal ek naya samaa dekhiye
Jo apni aankhon mein hayraniyan leke chal rahe ho, toh zinda ho tum
Dilon mein tum apni betaabiyan leke chal rahe ho, toh zinda ho tum

Very true to every word, no one gets their life back again, once time gone is gone for good. Fill the time you have in your hands now with happiness, so that they remain as your good memories for tomorrow. And you look back, you can only see happiness even in your tough times. As you grow older life teaches you practical lessons.Its good that we go through problems, it will make us stronger and better people.

All that mattered to him was " He DiD IT"

As an anxious parent in the audience, i was clicking pictures of each moment he was on the stage and listening carefully to see if he misses a note ( which i knew he would). I was very disturbed when he did miss, but he confidently corrected himself to the piano and played the whole song. When he came back to me after the recital, i asked him " did you know you missed a note" the answer i got from him was but 'Amma, are you proud of me?'. At that deepest moment, i could not help but give him a hug and say that i was proud of him. And realized, for his age he was on the stage facing so many people and had the confidence to do what he was doing. Which even today i don't think i have  the guts . How could i not think of all the emotions he might have gone through to play to the strangers?.. Sometimes expectations really don't matter ...all that matters is the time you have & how you had....which i learned today!!!!

         But i still wanted to know from him if he knew he made a mistake :-) and guess what he knew it !!!  

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Quotes i love!!

Life:

Life Is Like A Camera Just Focus on What's Important

Capture The GOOD TIMES

Develop From The Negatives

And If Things Dont Turn Out - Just Take Another Shot.

Tough Times:

Tough times are like physical exercise: you may not like it while you're doing it, but tomorrow you'll be stronger because of it.

Love:

The best kind of relationships begin unexpectedly. When you get the astonished feeling and everything happens suddenly.That's why you don't look for love. It comes to you just at the right time ; the time you never thought it would have.

 Gratitude:

An attitude of gratitude is naturally attractive. It has the power to turn challenges into possibilities, problems into solutions, and losses into gains. It shifts the energy. It expands our vision and allows us to see what might normally be invisible to someone with a limiting attitude.

It's just you!!!

Ya, i call you when i know you wont take my call

Ya, i search for you, when you are not online

when i know you are there to answer, i don't care much..

When i don't see you, i think of you so much..

When you are available, i don't want you...
But when you are not, i need you..

What do i call this ? craziness or madness

Or taking it for granted as such

I hate your opinionated views

and i hate your strong attitude

But i have learned to accept you

as is, as it's just you!!

Failure...To Peace..

Failure was such a wrong word for me when i was a kid. If you fail in any grade it is a bad thing that could ever happen. I only heard people say that you failed, you are poor academically.  Failure was just a taboo. But as i grew older lets say in my 20's i realized that not everything in life will work the way you want. There are times you will be disappointed with the choices that you make, and you would feel as a failure. I used to fret about the mistakes that i made.  It was like ..i should have ..it could have ...kind.  But then again the more older i grew  that's in my 30's i realized that failure is not a bad thing at all.  I learned that it teaches you a lesson to become stronger.
 
Past few months have been really rough on me, in every possible way. I was failing repeatedly. This was the first time in my life no matter what i take up its a failure. When i failed on by plan A, i concentrated on my plan B, then again i failed, now I'm on my plan C. When i failed on my plan A, it was a little jerk, then i told myself to focus. Then Plan B failed, this time i dint feel the jerk at all, as I'm prepared for it. I'm not sure how my plan C would go, but this process has made me stronger in ways i could never imagine. I'm Focused, stopped being emotional, stopped worrying, I'm just concentrating on the things that needs to be done only in a day.I started living for today and being happy for today. I'm content with what i have. It does not bother me for the things that i don't have.I find happiness in small small things. I want to laugh more so i read jokes, listen to one new song that i have not heard everyday, i started chanting at least 10 times the name of the God i like. I think this process has finally taught me how to be peaceful , untouched and unattached with the anything.